Why Not Me? Feminism and Religion Blog Post

My “me too” went out for all to see way before Facebook existed, way before there were hash tags and internet pages for unveiling our secrets to the world. In all the years that have passed since I first spoke publicly and published about my experiences with sexual violence, there has been a steady stream of people (mostly, but not all, women) who have come to me with their #metoo.

Survivors tend to hold lots of secrets—they become heavier with time and the more the secrets stay secret, the more power they have to distort and rupture and isolate. I held mine for many years and I planned on never telling anyone. But, those memories began to disrupt my life more and more—and finally they had to come out. That was the only way I could ever be free, that is the only way I could truly be alive.

My secrecy was fed by the mythologies I believed about my womanhood in the cultures that were forming me (church and academy to name two). These cultures and others that formed me told me that sexual violence was not the norm. These cultures told me that misogyny was not tolerated in our society and that women can do whatever we want in the world. Those are important narratives and I believed them. Those mythologies meant that I was not ready for what happened to me. I was, in fact, not even aware that what happened to me was possible. Full post