8 Comments

  1. David Bohner

    Marcia, Thanks for your thoughtful and insightful summary of some of the main issues of the day. Does a new coach “ever” retain some of the assistant or associate coaches already ‘in place?’ It seems like the usual practice is to replace almost everyone with the obvious loss of “what could be” some continuity for the players. We are grateful for all that John, your family and you have brought to the community of Chapel Hill and UPC. With peace and gratitude, David B

    Reply
    1. Marcia

      Hi David. Thank you for your comments. Sometimes a new coach will retain a few coaches from the previous staff–often times in the interest of recruiting, not necessarily for continuity for current players. More often than not new coaches want to put their stamp on things and they want to have “their guys” on the staff. There is both wisdom and short-sightedness in that approach–like lots of things in life, it’s complicated. The hard part of the situation at UNC is that the entire staff is being let go because of the actions of a few. It seems that UNC made the choice to clean house when they took the step they did with Coach Davis. For the rest of us, it was just a matter of time. Here’s hoping and praying the new staff will be good to this wonderful group of young men who play for UNC.

      Reply
  2. Don

    We all battle, at one time or another, with defining ourselves and what it is we believe in. Sadly, many people relish the entertainment they find in faulting others, especially those who are visible to the public at some level.
    I’ve found that when it comes to acting in a manner that makes a statement about who I truly am, it’s very important to be consistent and true to my beliefs. As you know, Marcia, that is a difficult task for people who perform within the public eye. It can almost be a contest for doubters to invent stories, much like your story about four kids. Again, consistency and trust can overcome the negative visions on a personal level.
    I feel badly for Coach Graham, because he has either been portrayed poorly or he made an error in how he dealt with his former players. Whatever the circumstances were that forced players to be notified via text, they should never override the trust those players had begun to build in their coach. He will need to find his way to live with that knowledge.
    We all need to keep our eyes on the prize and work to understand the ramifications of our actions before we do something that will have others have reason to believe the untruths about us. If we do not do so, we most likely are living much more closely to those “Untruths” than we care to admit to ourselves.

    Reply
    1. Marcia

      Thank you, Don. Very well said. I agree that the hard work of continuing to act from your deepest values and ideals is important for our own sense of ourselves and our integrity. That doesn’t make it easy and it doesn’t mean people will always “get” who you are. I also would add that no matter how Todd Graham handled the situation, he is a part of a larger system that continues to sow the seeds of dishonesty and mistrust. If we’re going to hold up his behavior as abhorrent, he shouldn’t stand alone in the world of football! Thanks so much for your helpful and insightful comments.

      Reply
  3. Clay Clevenger

    Marcia I hope you are doing well. It looks as though you have a beautiful family. I have only read a few of your blogs as I just found this web site. As a high school football coach, the problems of so called “major college football” are unfortunately making there way to all levels of this great sport. Unfortunately it is a big time business ruled by decision makers who worry more about public perception than doing the right things. The bad thing is, I don’t see an end in site…good luck to you all. I am sure that John will land on his feet.

    Reply
    1. Marcia

      Thanks, Clay. It is good to hear from you. Thanks so much for reading and I hope you will keep reading and commenting. Your experience and insights can add a lot to the conversation. I think you are right that the ethos of football is increasingly set by those whose interests are not necessarily about doing things right or well. That dynamic often becomes prevalent when there is a lot of money at stake for people.
      There are still a lot of great people coaching this game and I have to believe things can change for the better. One of John’s favorite parts of coaching in college is getting to know High School football coaches through recruiting. You are doing important work! Keep it up!
      Hope you’ll comment on some other posts, too.
      Peace,
      Marcia

      Reply

What do you think?

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *