12 Comments

  1. mary lou bethune

    Way to go, Marcia. The male dominated world is ending because people like you have stood up strong.
    The hatred of women is very close to the surface and it takes courage to invite inspection as you did.

    Reply
    1. Marcia

      Thank you, Mary Lou, I know you are about the same work in your life. I hope you’ll keep reading and keep up all the good work!

      Reply
  2. Beverly Rudolph

    I just love this series so much, Marcia. It is truth, light, and peace. It feels cleansing and necessary. And very courageous.

    Reply
    1. Marcia

      Thanks for reading and commenting, Beverly. I appreciate your affirmation.

      Reply

  3. Marcia,

    Thanks for this wisdom. It reminded me of what I’m hearing others say lately as we question the most dangerous and calcified parts of our traditional institutions. Bill Maher–in all his not-so-necessarily-feminist wisdom–recently made a comment about the trouble that happens in spaces that are too male. He was speaking in reference to the tragedy at Penn State, and he noted how fraternities, churches, and football, without female influence, can allow things to go awry, severely awry. Violence, aggression, and protectionism. Perhaps it’s a similar imbalance as occurs in female-dominated spaces that run amok with gossip, back-stabbing, and character assassinations.

    I appreciate your courage and strength to be yourself, authentic to your beliefs and truths. Thank you!

    Lyn

    Reply
    1. Marcia

      Thank you, Lyn, for your comments. When institutions put power and privilege together and connect it to a particular identity set (race, gender, etc), trouble follows. I guess the female equivalent to the all boys club might be equally distasteful, but I am not sure it is as destructive to our culture as all male clutches of power. Female dominated structures just don’t carry with them the same potency and privilege. In fact some would argue that when women start having high positions of leadership in an institution that it is evidence of that institution’s waning societal power. The church may be a good example of that argument. In this day and age, hopefully we’re all getting the message that communities of the same are breeding grounds for idolatries of all kinds. Hope you’ll keep reading and commenting!

      Reply
  4. Lynda Baddour

    Marcia
    Very well written! It is a definite eye opener. I had no idea of the invisibility of coaches wives…It is very disturbing and needs to be dealt with in some way.

    Reply
    1. Marcia

      Thank you for commenting, Lynda. It’s an alternate reality in many ways to be sure. How the world of football deals with it going forward will have to be intentional if anything were to really change. Here’s hoping for such an unexpected development! Glad you are reading.

      Reply
  5. Andrea Bercos

    Marcia…
    I love your honesty and courage…and admire, as always, your willingness to dig deep…to question…to not accept the status quo…and to be exceptionally authentic!!!

    Thank you for writing this series and encouraging us all to think critically and act intentionally!

    Reply
    1. Marcia

      Thank you for reading, Andrea. And for being willing to dig along with me. Hope you’ll keep reading.

      Reply
  6. Bill Skeens

    Hi Marcia:

    I applaud you for pulling the veil off. I see how you are expected to play a specific “role” of the quiet supportive spouse. I imagine it is often similar as a ministers spouse. It must be difficult for John to have an opinion regarding any church matters as well.
    Looks like you all are dancing to the same music at times ( in the others venue).

    It also made me wonder if the “silence” at Penn State was because no one wanted to say anything that would upset “the program” and it made normally high moral people look the other way consciously or unconsciously. That was the ultimate breakdown.

    Bill Skeens

    PS. You are SPECIAL.

    Reply
    1. Marcia

      Thank you for your comments, Bill. I think you are on to something that when there is a lot at stake it is harder and harder to be the one to dissent.
      It is interesting that you bring up the possibility of John having the similar experiences as a pastor’s spouse that I describe having as a coach’s wife. While I know wives of pastors would certainly be able to relate, we have actually experienced the opposite when it comes to how people treat John. That is, he is actually assumed to have competencies that people should have no reason to assume he would have. In fact, people have assumed they can have pastoral conversations with him, that he can teach Sunday school, and that he has theological and biblical knowledge. So, he’s actually had the opposite experience than I have–people assume he should take up a lot of space in my work place and that he should be able to do many of the things I am able to do. Interesting to think about. How does gender and assumptions about men and women and their competencies and power figure in?
      Hope you’ll keep reading and keep being a part of the conversation.

      Reply

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